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 »  Home  »  Weddings  »   Love After Marriage
Love After Marriage
By:  Katria Foger | Published  21/11/2005 | Weddings | Rating:ratingratingratingratingrating  | Rated 10 Times.
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Love is a beautiful moment of the life. True love is very hard to find and one should consider her/himself lucky if they have one around them. There are different kinds of love in the world, but all have one thing in common, it involves a loved one enveloped by your warmth and care. It is same in marriage. There are three stages of love in married life.

Love grows and changes. The emotional and romantic love that brings couples together in the first place is very different from the love after fifteen years of married life. Love relationships go through three stages. All are important if love is to flourish.

Stage 1 - Romantic Love: Love relationships usually begin with a strong physical and emotional attraction that produces an altered state of consciousness. Your brain is saturated with chemicals called endorphins, creating sensations of intense pleasure that accompany infatuation. In this state, you are apt to project images, expectations and ideals of the perfect mate onto your partner, which often have little to do with who your partner really is, but it’s hard to tell because both of you are on your best behavior. Reeling with romance and passion, you and your spouse are highly responsive to each other.

Stage 2 - Power Struggles: As infatuation and romantic love subside, healthy relationships go through a period of constant power struggles when each partner tries to mould the other into the ideal mate. During this process of molding the other spouse, many couples argue and fight and many others start avoiding sensitive areas of conflict. If either of the partners avoids the confrontation, their lives are likely to become more and more separate and devoid of intimacy and sharing. Although you avoid open conflict, agreeing at some level not to argue and fight, the tension and pain remain. Both of you long for that period of infatuation when being together was exciting. But this is nothing new for you, it is normal and is in every marriage. These kinds of situations and how you confront them builds understanding. Learning to confront at this stage helps your relationship mature. You both have to discover what can be changed in the relationship and what must be accepted.

Stage 3 - Unconditional Acceptance: In this stage, a healthy relationship moves beyond control issues to unconditional love and acceptance. However, during the transition from stage two to stage three, partners must still resolve issues in the relationship, taking risks to make positive change wherever possible and accepting those conditions that cannot be changed. Even in stage three, it is healthy to discuss anything that upsets you. Differences are approached positively, not as things to sweep under the carpet. At this stage, each person becomes highly aware of various traits in the other. Some you like and others you dislike, but you learn to accept the ones that cannot be changed. This is a time when expectations are readjusted and both of you become more realistic.

Each couple goes through these stages of love life and only those who put efforts in growing this love are successful.

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Internet Dating Jokes

A pompous Presbyterian Minister was seated next to an Irishman on a flight to Dublin. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the Minister if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant... and said, "I didn't know we had a choice!"

Comments
  • Comment #1 (Posted by Robert Ray ,7/11/2007 1:51:09 PM )
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    great issue
      
  • Comment #2 (Posted by MARLENE ,21/06/2007 6:52:37 PM )
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    BECAUSE I TRY SO HARD I WANT THE MAN I LOVE KNOW HOW I FEELI WANT THE MAN THAT I LOVE KNOW THAT I LOVE HIM
      
  • Comment #3 (Posted by sherine ,20/03/2007 2:16:06 AM )
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    good
      
  • Comment #4 (Posted by Peter ,24/01/2007 7:58:17 AM )
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    it's quite true.
      
  • Comment #5 (Posted by nil ,12/12/2006 10:44:26 AM )
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    As a new reader,I send this comment.May be can send better comments next time.Thanks.
      
  • Comment #6 (Posted by BT Tran ,6/11/2006 7:38:59 AM )
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    Excellent article, very true whay you say. I'm a 5-years-married man, I think I just passed from the stage 2 to 3 and now understand that people could never find a perfect matched partner which has all positive traits as they want. We have to accept all the like and dislike from her/him and then keep go on in the relationship. At this stage, I think people who don't accept the fact about love after marriage will be easy stuck in a love affair with someone else and then ruin their marriage together with other beautiful things they have built up in years.Thanks for your good article,Tran.
      
  • Comment #7 (Posted by Susan ,25/09/2006 2:06:01 PM )
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    good
      
  • Comment #8 (Posted by saka ,9/09/2006 11:35:39 AM )
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    So good
      
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