Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down at the barber shop, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: "What is the greatest sport ever?"

Some say "football". Some say "baseball". Canadians say "hockey". The rest of the world says "soccer". (Actually, they say "football", too...but they mean "soccer"). But I say KISSING!!! Yes, kissing is the greatest sport ever. Allow me to recount just a few of the reasons.

Kissing is a very versatile sport . There are so many kisses – at least one for each occasion. There is the peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew's cheek kiss while grabbing the other cheek flab with your hand, the madly passionate kiss, the kiss on the hand, the kiss of death, the "Hey you! Kiss this!", and even the town of Kissimmee (founded by early Italian pioneer kissers) in Florida.

Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle, even in Alaska from June through September.

Kissing requires very little equipment , meaning you can do it even when unprepared, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and hang gliders.

Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in a booooring meeting that seems to last foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. See how it livens things up?

Kissing is legal in all 50 states and most countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan.